Soundtrack of Your Life

If you had a soundtrack to your life, what would be on it? Now, don't get me wrong, mine is constantly changing, because music can fit many different moods, emotions, and moments. Plus, if my life soundtrack was the same from when I was little it would include "Rush, Rush" by Paula Abdul and "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany, not exactly present-decade-friendly. But seriously, what would be on yours?

I seem to ask myself this question almost every Friday as I compile a group of songs together on a playlist or cd to listen to before going out and/or while having pre-drinks at my place with some friends. Now, of course, a Friday night playlist doesn't necessarily reflect what I would pick for my soundtrack. Let me explain, a Friday night playlist is one that is composed mostly of "party" or "dance" songs. A soundtrack, on the other hand, would be compiled of all the songs that would cover other emotions, not just the thrill of the weekend.

Let's take a quick look at movies. Some movies are almost as famous, if not more, for their soundtracks than the actual movie. For instance, Jaws. Sure two notes isn't exactly a great tune to listen to on a regular basis, but anytime someone hears that, they know what it is (and what it infers, "get the hell out of the water!"). What else...Hard Day's Night, Saturday Night Fever, The Graduate, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and a few of recent years, Pretty in Pink and Singles.

If I had to pick, right here, right now, these are 5 of the songs I would include on my current soundtrack.

1. "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure
2. "Where the Streets Have No Name" by U2
3. "Dance Tonight" by Paul McCartney
4. "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane
5. "One Man Wrecking Machine" by Guster

Find yours. Play it, own it, and (warning: cliche ahead) dance like no one is watching!

High School Heroes

I've noticed recently it's not only hard in the dating world, but it's hard in the making-friends world. I like to think of myself as a friendly and open-minded person, thus, I've always been able to make friends and see the good in everyone. But recently I've had a hard time just getting the chance to make friends. I've been hanging out with a couple different groups of people recently, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm just picking the wrong friends. One of the groups, for instance, basically all grew up down the street from me, we went to rival high schools (all on the same playing field academically and athletically), and played on the same club teams. However, the biggest problem I have with these people, is that even though we have so much in common and almost the exact upbringings, they won't let me in because I didn't go the same high school as them, or attend the same college and fraternity/sorority parties, and move back home when they did.

To put it simply, I'm not part of their high school clique. Now, I know what you're probably thinking, "why would I want to hang out with people who are like that?" Well, one reason would be because we have so much in common. And, maybe, the other reason is that I wish they would surprise me and be better than they seem to be. I'm always hoping for the best in people, and sure, it sets me up for disappointment, but every now and then, people can surprise you. And that is the reason I continue to have faith in people, for that moment, when someone just might take your breath away.

Addiction

Merriam-Webster defines addiction as the, "compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful".

Last night, I fell off the wagon. There is a guy in my life, let's call him Johnny, who I am literally physically addicted to and he has no interest in pursuing anything other than a physical relationship with me. A strictly physical relationship is something I have never had. I am a "relationship" person and have to have feelings and a commitment to have a physical relationship. Johnny is my exception. On and off for the last two years, I have preferred a strictly physical relationship with him then to not have one at all.

That was until the beginning of last month. I vowed to swear him off and cut him out of my life. I was successful up until last night. My only regret is that I broke a rule I made for myself. A rule I made and instated for my own emotional safety. The bad thing, I don't regret it. Why is that? How is it that I can continually expose myself to something so wrong for me? Is it the hope that he will change and wake up one day and actually see me? I absolutely know that I should not be around him, so why do I let it happen? In a world where as a single girl it sometimes seems impossible to find "the right person" why do I jeopardize my chances with someone so wrong?

I Almost Wish Ghosts Were Real...

So, I hate to admit it, but tonight I watched "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past". However, now that I've watched it, I wish that this actually existed and ghosts would visit some guys from my past to smack some sense into them.

The movie tells the story of a guy, who is a carbon copy of most of the boys (note intentional use of the word "boy") whom I have dated, for whatever reason (in this case, he was burned by his childhood crush) vows to keep his distance from any woman that comes into life, to use them, and then immediately push them away to prevent any potential pain for himself. But of course, in return, he causes a great deal of pain and confusion for those women left in his wake (I can see you all nodding your head in unison).

It's full of stereotypical (because we know them all too well?) lines and behaviors, including "wise words" from his uncle, "If there is one thing you learn tonight, it's this. The power in a relationship lies with whoever cares less." The movie, like "He's Just Not That Into You," tells women in the audience that these boys are to be left alone, until the end when they get all Hollywood-happy-ending on us and make us think that these self-involved boys will actually change.

Don't hold your breath ladies, there are good guys out there. Go find one :)

Winning and Losing

Recently I had a guy friend in town visiting and he, like myself, is a big college football fan. Being that it was the beginning of the season, it came up in conversation once or twice (understatement). At one point, he started picking on my team, which he does on a regular basis (an obvious overlooked character flaw?), and was talking about how his team wins "championships" unlike my team in recent years. I started to say, "it's not about..." when he interrupted me and said, "Of course it's about winning! Is that what you were going to say?". I decided not to continue because he had been drinking and I knew it was a battle I would not win.

Well, I was thinking about that conversation tonight, and it hit me. I was right. It isn't about winning or losing. Now, don't get me wrong, I love (love, love) to win. I am competitive at heart and grew up playing sports year round, but it's not about winning, at least in this case, and not as much any more. To put in modern day musical times, it's about "the climb" (thanks Miley). Yes, I know cliche, but some of my victories were learned after my losses. But back to football...

At the end of the day, yes, I want my team to win, but if they lose, will it ruin my day (maybe :)? Will it take away from all the fun and excitement that game day brought my friends and I? The cookout that brought us together? Or the late night laughs and drinking games long after the fourth quarter has ended? No, it won't. Will I lose my job because of a Saturday game gone wrong? No, I won't. Will the world stop turning because we couldn't put enough points on the board??? No.

I will still wake up everyday and be me and have the hope of what the new day will bring. But my friend in question, apparently, it will ruin his day. And if his college football team winning another game strokes his ego and makes him feel more like a man, then good for him. But I don't need a win to let me know the sun will rise the next day and that next season, no matter who wins, we all start out at 0-0-0.